Joint custody- both parents have full responsibility for the child's supervision, and have equal say. In family court, a judge may award joint or sole legal custody and joint or sole physical custody. Joint custody is popularly seen as the solution to the divided family: the parents may divorce, but the children remain legally and emotionally "married" to both. Allison Williams is a family lawyer and the founder of Williams Law Group, the only New Jersey law firm founded by an AAML fellow that focuses on the issues of child abuse, neglect, and maltreatment.. Dr. Erik Dranoff is a forensic psychologist and custody and parenting time evaluator.. Press the blue PLAY button to listen to the podcast. A father’s relationship with his children is a legal right. Despite the disadvantages of joint custody, many parents want the benefits of a joint custody arrangement. Many of the same conflicts that existed during the marriage and led to divorce will be present, often at even higher levels, in the post-divorce relationship. It’s obvious. Now, not only are you trying to continue to peacefully and respectfully co-parent between two parents who could not even get along well enough to remain married but add in one or two additional new parents to the mix who bring with them their own expectations, values, interests, concerns and opinions. Those are all factors that most parents can’t control unless they live in the same area as each other. How are Your Kids Coping with Quarantine. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage: Vol. If you and the other parent agree on sole custody, the judge will typically approve your agreement. Whether you’re seeking to obtain full custody or joint custody with the child’s mother, putting forth the right plan of action can result in success. In theory joint custody sounds terrific. Theoretically, having both parents involved is very beneficial for a child. Most courts will now consider a joint physical custody request and many states will now grant it barring any information presented that would make this sort of arrangement unhealthy for the children. The problem is the reality rarely looks like this. Parenting time (also called visitation) may be equal or primarily to one parent. Losing custody of a child generally means loss of joint legal and/or physical custody. • Joint physical custody is a lousy "compromise" between disputing parents. Children are often stuck with two parents who don’t get along, and they could be exposed to arguments and disagreements. • Joint physical custody is being used, wrongly, to lower child support payments. If there is disagreement on an issue, the parents may consider mediation or a parenting co-ordinator given the authority to decide the issue. Although a child’s need for a healthy relationship with BOTH parents can’t be denied, I believe the extreme turn toward promoting shared custody of children is yet another trend with unforeseen consequences to children and families, alike. Then list three arguments in favor of joint custody and three arguments against joint custody. There is no magic spell for getting custody as a dad, but having an understanding of state laws and a reasonable plan of action can help. Now we believe that any child deserves to share as much time as possible with both parents, if they are willing. All of the all-too-common mistakes made in Top 12 Divorced Parenting Mistakes still appear in shared parenting situations, quite often. As children grow, their needs change and they have more and more need to develop roots within their community. Disciplinary consistency is almost impossible in joint custody homes. How you split expenses and child support can be simple in shared custody situations or it can be excruciating. It’s hard to defend the former (assuming the father has been actively involved with the children) and easy to defend the latter. For some reason, no one ever even thinks of this basic, commonsense content. The children get the best of both worlds, time with both parents. Parents who managed to peacefully co-parent before are often taken aback completely when the other parent remarries and suddenly changes in many ways. When one or both single parents try to “grow into their own” as single parents, working together can seem impossible. Our list of the main arguments against joint custody is divided into two categories: "actual" and "myths". If you need to call-out specific breaks, use Section 4 as a guide for how to modify this Section. Cons related to joint custody. If the other parent does not contest your request for sole custody, the lack of interest will typically compel a judge to award sole custody. Some people have even called for laws requiring courts to always hand down such decisions, but other experts say it would be a mistake to statutorily mandate joint child custody. 369 IX. Last, but certainly not least, there is the baggage. School breaks shall not have any bearing on the custody schedule or custody exchanges described in this Joint Custody Agreement. In my practice, I have seen the sad results of a joint custody mania which is sweeping the courts. But then reality sets in for many of these parents and their children. Many parents consider their own needs and the benefits of shared parenting on their own schedules, logistically. Usually the children spend a little more time with 1 parent than the other because it is too hard to split the time exactly in half. Parents should think long and hard about the short and long term challenges of shared parenting for their children and themselves. This baggage all to often is transferred onto the kids. Despite that change, some fathers still believe they have less of a chance than the mother does of getting custody in their state. These are my thoughts. State Statutes and Joint Custody 379 XI. Fathers are often economically motivated, since they are often successful in…, The California family court system: Experiences of protective mothers of abused children, The Evolution of Joint Parenting in Poland: The Legal Perspective on Lessons Learned and Still to Be Learned, Berkeley Journal of Gender, Law and Justice, By clicking accept or continuing to use the site, you agree to the terms outlined in our. 4) D. Post, "Arguments Against Joint Custody," 4 Berkley Women's Law Journal 316-25, (1989, 90). When one or both parents remarry, the opportunity for problems grows exponentially. When kids become teens, their social network can become seemingly more important than their familial network and being taken away from sports, activities and friends to spend equal time in another environment will often not work at all. Arguments Against Joint Custody 366 VIII. Each divorce is unique, making it dangerous to decide every case based on a strict set of rules, especially when child custody is involved. Many of the same conflicts that existed during the marriage and led to divorce will be present, often at even higher levels, in the post-divorce relationship. Laws are ever-evolving and, hopefully, each state will have fair trials and settlements so that each parent has an equal chance of obtaining custody. When you think about how to “win” a custody battle against a narcissist, keep in mind that “winning” may or may not mean “sole custody.” That will depend on your specific situation. Know more and more need to develop roots within their community Case for many of! 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